Had my 1 week follow up yesterday at the diabetes center to check how I was doing with my new pump. The verdict is GREAT! Truth be told I was a little ashamed of my numbers and my carb intake over the past week… I am pretty hard on myself anyway but the amount of food I consumed this week was ridiculous, seriously. Of course, most of it was late at night and I went straight to be after stuffing my face with crackers and/or granola (stupid I know) so, as expected, I was high over night and in the morning. Judah spent most of the nights sitting, leaned up against the wall watching me in his ever vigilant way, occasionally rousting me for a bolus and then returning to his sentry position. He is such a good boy, does his job even when I don’t do mine.
I expressed my dismay about my numbers and the quality of carbs that I had eaten and New Doc. just smiled and said, trust me, this is a great first week on the pump, you know what you need to do. I am not worried about you.” Hmm, does she know how totally obsessive and what a control freak I am already? Does she know me so well enough already that she knows I won’t allow this ridiculous pattern continue? I never realized the degree to which so many people ignore or down play diabetes, but apparently A LOT of people don’t work very hard, aren’t willing to make sacrifices, won’t follow doctor’s recommendations, and have virtually no fear of the long term complications that are a result of not being obsessed with diabetes. Now I know that a lot of times upon diagnosis they tell people not to worry, and that if they do these things (insert things here) then they will live a normal life. I have said it before and I will say it again, that is not true! I know it’s scary to think about and I know it isn’t what people want to here, but if you have diabetes, it requires you immediate and constant attention. I will try to avoid long winded descriptions of the different types of diabetes and state that for the purposes of this post I am addressing type 1 diabetes. Telling someone who has to inject themselves 4+ times a day with a hormone they will DIE without (and DIE with too much of) is not normal, sorry. I am not saying that a diabetic can’t live a fantastic, full life, on the contrary my point is that they way they will be able to live this wonderful full life is to recognize and respect their disease and conquer that shit!
It is important that people truly understand the FULL SCOPE of what diabetes means. It means that food, stress, sleep, exercise, weather, excitement, and your body (along with a bagillion other things, yeah I made that word up… what of it?) are all your enemy, and you must conquer them. It means that before and after everything you must test your blood sugar and when you think you finally have a handle on it, everything changes and you start over again. The trick is not letting it get the better of you, have more good days then bad days, and don’t forget to love. Love yourself, your supporters, your tools, and of course, your dog 🙂 . Know you limits and work to stretch them, but be prepared- always be prepared. Don’t get lazy either, don’t ever say “close enough”, it isn’t close enough unless it’s right on. I am not saying beat yourself up about it, but recognize when something needs to change or didn’t work the way it should have. Remember those things and use them to your advantage.
I was shocked to learn that many adults allow high blood sugars to get dangerously high before taking action, I’ll be honest, if it’s above 140 mg/dl I treat it, plain and simple. Obviously if I have just eaten or have IOB (insulin on board) I use my common sense but if it’s above 140 it causes damage in the long term, so get that out of here! Some people I have talked to (through a group on facebook) feel that the long term complications aren’t of a concern and while I respect everyone’s right to live and treat their disease however they choose I find it frightening that they don’t consider those possibilities. I just want to say to them, “But don’t you plan to live a long time?! How can you not worry about how this changes your future?!” I bite my tongue though, it isn’t my treatment so it isn’t my say. I know that it may seem that I have a doom and gloom approach to how I feel about my diabetes, but I feel that it is important to be aware and never forget. When you forget, you get lazy and you avoid.
I am not saying that I am not every naughty (obviously I am, I am no skinny girl), but I find it so important to remind myself that it all has consequences that will affect the people I love someday. That’s how I keep my motivation, I remember that Marshall loves me and has earned the right to a life with the best me I can offer. I remember that we have dreams and goals and that it isn’t fair to not consider him in the way I live because he so willingly considers me. I decided from the beginning that the way I would manage this was to learn as much as I could and never stop asking questions. It has led me to be a lot more outgoing about my disease than I thought I would be, but I try to remind myself that I am helping anyone who comes after me to be better understood.
After having a great chat with my New Doc and her sidekick, I was asked if I would be willing to accompany the staff of the diabetes center to the local high school to do a wellness fair! I was both flattered and excited. They wanted someone who was a little younger (thank ladies! 😉 ) who could relate to the kids well and lets be honest, Judah makes kids more interested and more at ease. Here’s one way that having an “attractive nuisance” attached to me will work for my benefit. I am very excited about the wellness fair and I hope that it is the first of many opportunities to reach out in the D community as well as spread awareness and education. Will definitely keep you all posted. Also hope to put out some product review posts about all the D paraphernalia I have used/ am using, I have tried so much stuff thought it would be nice to share.